I am tired of being sick. I have been battling a "cold" or "sinus infection" or whatever for a week now. It began just before my trip last week to Dallas to visit my beautiful girlfriend's brother and sis-in-law. The worst day seemed to be the day just prior to my flight. I was still sniffy in Texas, but I seemed to be improving. Perhaps it was the weather there - far warmer and drier than Cleveland. Or maybe the affliction was just running its course.
Wrong! Whatever "it" was, didn't last! As soon as I got back to this god-forsaken white hell, it all started going down-hill again. Now, it has been warmer this week in the great white northern Ohio, but not truly "warm."
Maybe it was going back to work and the fact that the air quality in the place was evaluated as "the worst air quality we've measured" according to an independent study conducted a few years ago by specialists. The brilliant minds at my company responded quickly by placing horrible smelling air filters in the operations center that lasted oh, maybe a year, and were then forgotten. So now we just accept that we're probably being slowly murdered with horrid air quality.
Maybe my immune system just sucks as I age. After all, this is at least the third respiratory issue I've had in the past year. Possibly the fourth - can't remember (another symptom of old age.)
Maybe it's my poor diet. Too much sugar intake for example, actually suppresses the immune system. Did you know that? I did, but it never seems to stop me. I take multivitamins daily. Doesn't seem to matter anymore.
Maybe it's the stress of the constant fear that I'll be laid-off. My company seems to be systematically laying people off as business goes down. I think it's engineered to be this way and we're all just working to close the place down gradually. At any rate, stress suppresses the immune system as well.
Maybe it's the stress of my impending divorce and the worry over my kids.
Maybe it's the unrest and boredom I feel from living in the snow belt.
Maybe it's the constant fear of being destitute once my divorce is final. I've been buying up things I need or want lately because I know I won't be able to do it later.
Maybe it's the fear of general economic collapse.
Maybe it's because I wasn't breast-fed as a baby.
Maybe it's my germophobia. Maybe my efforts to steer clear of germs have the exact, opposite effect. I fear it, so it hits me? I don't know - that's a stretch.
Maybe I'm just rambling incessantly because I need to place blame on something or someone.
At any rate, I'm home sick today and I had to cancel a dental appointment that I really need ... I broke a tooth the other day. Another sign of getting old.
I have high expectations for 2009, despite the potential for economic disaster.
It's kind of scary to me because the last time I took on a positive attitude toward a new year - it was 2007. The year my marriage broke up and I moved out.
So, I'm not gonna get all crazy about this year ... but I just want to feel better.
I'll stop whining now.
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