OK - I need some cheese with this whine.

I am tired of being sick. I have been battling a "cold" or "sinus infection" or whatever for a week now. It began just before my trip last week to Dallas to visit my beautiful girlfriend's brother and sis-in-law. The worst day seemed to be the day just prior to my flight. I was still sniffy in Texas, but I seemed to be improving. Perhaps it was the weather there - far warmer and drier than Cleveland. Or maybe the affliction was just running its course.
Wrong! Whatever "it" was, didn't last! As soon as I got back to this god-forsaken white hell, it all started going down-hill again. Now, it has been warmer this week in the great white northern Ohio, but not truly "warm."
Maybe it was going back to work and the fact that the air quality in the place was evaluated as "the worst air quality we've measured" according to an independent study conducted a few years ago by specialists. The brilliant minds at my company responded quickly by placing horrible smelling air filters in the operations center that lasted oh, maybe a year, and were then forgotten. So now we just accept that we're probably being slowly murdered with horrid air quality.
Maybe my immune system just sucks as I age. After all, this is at least the third respiratory issue I've had in the past year. Possibly the fourth - can't remember (another symptom of old age.)
Maybe it's my poor diet. Too much sugar intake for example, actually suppresses the immune system. Did you know that? I did, but it never seems to stop me. I take multivitamins daily. Doesn't seem to matter anymore.
Maybe it's the stress of the constant fear that I'll be laid-off. My company seems to be systematically laying people off as business goes down. I think it's engineered to be this way and we're all just working to close the place down gradually. At any rate, stress suppresses the immune system as well.
Maybe it's the stress of my impending divorce and the worry over my kids.
Maybe it's the unrest and boredom I feel from living in the snow belt.
Maybe it's the constant fear of being destitute once my divorce is final. I've been buying up things I need or want lately because I know I won't be able to do it later.
Maybe it's the fear of general economic collapse.
Maybe it's because I wasn't breast-fed as a baby.
Maybe it's my germophobia. Maybe my efforts to steer clear of germs have the exact, opposite effect. I fear it, so it hits me? I don't know - that's a stretch.
Maybe I'm just rambling incessantly because I need to place blame on something or someone.
At any rate, I'm home sick today and I had to cancel a dental appointment that I really need ... I broke a tooth the other day. Another sign of getting old.
I have high expectations for 2009, despite the potential for economic disaster.
It's kind of scary to me because the last time I took on a positive attitude toward a new year - it was 2007. The year my marriage broke up and I moved out.
So, I'm not gonna get all crazy about this year ... but I just want to feel better.
I'll stop whining now.

Bitter division on Inauguration Day

Today is Inauguration Day in the United States. Millions of people are expected on the Mall in Washington, D.C. for the historic event. The media has been obsessed with the afair for days now and today of course is the apex of that coverage. Radio and television has regaled us with patriotic and heartfelt tales from citizens of all ethnicities and creeds. Quotes have been flying from Dr. Martin Luther King and President Abraham Lincoln. Barack Obama's own speeches and writings have been broadcast over and over again to the delectation of millions of Americans. Many Americans truly believe that Obama is the president that will heal the diseased race relations in the U.S. and unite all Americans, no matter what political affiliation or religious ideology.
However, though I voted for the man and believe him to be the best hope to guide us out of the darkness of the last eight years, I'm still very concerned today.
I happened to hear an excerpt from one of his speeches on my drive into work this morning and it's gnawing at me. I'm not going to try to convey the exact quote, but it was to the effect that "there is not a liberal America and a conservative America ... there's only a United States of America." And while it's an inspring and somewhat utopian thought, I really don't find it to be true.
I work in the aviation business. My "office" is a rather large operations center staffed with people of all kinds, though atmittedly, mostly caucasian. I also find there to be a sharp divide of political ideology and I find that I'm overwhelmed by conservative dogma.
Now keep in mind - a good number of people in my company are ex-military, so it's understandable that there would be an unusually large number of conservatives. But it seems to permeate the general population as well.
For example, we have two, large televisions in the room to keep us informed as to events that may affect us. One television has 24-7 coverage of The Weather Channel and the other "graces" us with the always overly-dramatic and questionably accurate, Fox News Channel.
I guess what really bugs me is the audacity of the conservative element at work.
Technically, I'm independent, but I'm definitely liberal for the most part. Those of us here who are in the Obama camp, have been very gracious about this win and I certainly have restrained my enthusiasm out of respect for the opposition (i.e. - the losers), because even though they don't realize it, we're all winners with this election. And I'm simply not the sort to gloat over my win. That is the case for the vast majority of us "commie-liberals" here at work.
What really bothers me is that the conservatives are overtly cruel, dismissive, and bitter about Obama's win. They have no reservations whatsoever about complaining, making light of his presidency, and making off-color jokes - all very boisterously in mixed company. And this is all before he even takes the oath of office - which as I'm writing is now just one hour away.
I have found this sort of attitude to be fairly common in the conservative community at large, leading me to believe that Obama and many others are wrong in thinking that this country is not divided. My observations show me that it's still very bitterly divided.
I realize that Obama has said on several occasions that the change (some of us) seek will not come overnight. That is a blazingly true statement I believe. Hopefully, Obama will prove to be the uniter he claims he can be, because though his presidency definitely marks a change in this country and in worldwide opinion, here at home, there's a long way to go.

Spring anyone?

I'm ready for Spring! Or a warmer climate. The day following Christmas this year was warm for Northeast Ohio. Warm for anywhere north of Georgia for that matter.
I was sick the entire holiday weekend, but I was able to feel the warm and sunny, albeit breezy air that day. I believe we topped out in the low to mid-60's (around 17 degrees celsius for my international friends.)
It was a holiday weekend like I always hope for - snow on Christmas Day, and warmth thereafter! If only life really worked that way. But reality bites and alas ... that was a freak of nature up here.
It was the kind of experience that makes one long for the sweet touch of Spring - all the while knowing there's another 4 months of winter! At least!
So, I get to thinking - for a crazy minute ... about living in Florida. What's worse - I got the idea from what has to be the saddest goddamn movie I have ever seen. Marley and Me. Now - it was a great flick - don't get me wrong. Very realistic portrayal of life, funny at all the right times, but in the end - the saddest film known to mankind. I'm not even lying. I felt violated - I hadn't signed up for that and it pissed me off.
Anyway - so I start thinking about, "could I live in Florida?" The answer of course is probably no way in hell, but it got me to thinking about finding a warmer climate. So I'll be searching - probably in vain - for a more hospitable place to winter.
Good thing is - my girlfriend is kinda looking for the same change, so it works out well! We're both full of wanderlust.
Meanwhile, I'll suffer - like I do every year - through the harsh, killing cold of a Northeast Ohio winter - until orange barrel season comes around once again.
Cheers!

Global warming and local weathermen!

OK - I'll probably get some people fired up with this one, but I just had to say ... something. The front page of the Cleveland Plain Dealer today has a pic and a headline:" Global Warming - Did we cause this? (picture of polar bear stranded on a small strip of ice surrounded by water) These guys don't think so ..." Below - pictures of 5 local weathermen: Andre Bernier, Dick Goddard, Mark Johnson, Jon Loufman, and Mark Nolan. Now, it seems there's a raging debate between day-to-day meterologists, whose job it is to predict and report local weather conditions and climatologists, whose job it is to collect and study mountains of data from a span of thousands of years to predict the likelihood of weather conditions in our near and not-so-near future. Climatologists take a stance that the United Nations 1200 member Intergovernal Panel on Climate Change, the National Academy of Science, and the American Meteorlogical Society takes - the Earth's climate is warming and the human burning of fossil fuels in cars and industry is helping to accelerate that warming. The local weather guys say that these three groups - the latter, responsible for giving them certification - are wrong! Now my first instinct is to laugh. These guys can't even predict the weather here in Cleveland - I predict the weather better by expecting the exact opposite of what they have to say (and I'm right about 90% of the time.) By the way, the last guy I mentioned doesn't even do the weather anymore he's become Ron Burgundy. Anyway, the local guys blame the warming trend on events that they believe are cyclical. Now, the Earth does go through cycles. The sun does go through cycles as well.Channel 8 (Fox news) weathermen Bernier and Goddard, both believe that solar cycles are to blame. OK - good hypothesis - let's investigate. Solar cycles osscilate in a cycle that spans about 10 years. So every ten years, there's a peak and a dip. Starting in 1975, at the bottom, solar flare activity rose consistently until 1980, when it reached a peak. It then hit a low in 1985 and so on and so on. So, in 1990 there was a peak - in ' 95 a dip - in 2000 a peak - in '05 a dip and now we're on the upswing. Solar flares have been consistent. However, since 1960, there has been an unobstructed rise in CO2 levels - from 315 parts per million to 385 ppm as measured atop Mauna Loa, Hawaii. In addition, global temperatures (in a graph dating back to 1860) show cyclical highs and lows with some slow progress upward until about 1980 when they have moved far more upward and never looked back. The average global temp is now far higher than ever before found in recorded history and CO2 levels are astronomically higher than ever recorded in ice studies that date back thousands of years.So basically, the solar flare argument just won't flush. The data does not correspond. Perhaps our local guys haven't been keeping up on the data. The article then goes on to quote Jon Loufman as saying, "Climate records also show that long before civilization, the Vikings settled in Greenland because it was warm enough."OK - the Vikings settled in Greenland about 1000 years ago. At that time, the Earth was on the apex of a warming cycle - the same cycle these guys are touting. It then fell into a "lesser" ice age that bottomed out about the year 1600. AND - almost all of Greenland's Viking civilization was near the coast, which is even today, more hospitable than even a few miles inland. But while the argument he makes that Earth was in a warm cycle is valid ... there is the fact that the temperatures at that time were nowhere near as warm as they are spiking now. Finally, the argument sways to the idea that these guys looks at numbers all the time. They claim they're used to seeing weather extremes all the time. "Why should we think that anything's different today just because one day's hot and another day has heavy rain?" They see it as a natural variability. This is perhaps the most disturbing of the arguments. Ignorance is bliss. The local guys admit to not being privy to the massive amounts of data that climatologists compile. It is not their field. That would be like me, an air crew scheduler, talking to the press about how I feel a plane will respond to a coming storm. Wouldn't that be the pilot's place to say? I have some knowledge but I'm not the expert. I call this way of irresponsible thinking about global warming "Titanic Theory." "God himself cannot sink this ship."Well kiss my left nut - it's 23,000 feet under the sea isn't it?

I wish ...

So a week has past since the presidential election - Happy Veteran's Day by the way!) The day after the election there was an odd ... quiet among those who, just the previous day were rabidly supporting McCain. With his loss, they had little to say. Graciously, though I could have rubbed it in, I remained quiet about my win within earshot of these people - out of respect. Though I don't agree with their views on some things - they are still my fellow Americans and I don't wish to offend them by gloating.
However, over the course of the week since the election - "they" have begun the grumbling that I knew was coming. A grumbling not unlike that we heard throughout the 1990's, when Bill Clinton was president. Bill Maher touched on this on his HBO show recently and said that he didn't want to see a return to the 90's when the GOP chased after Clinton over made-up offenses ... he didn't want to see a return to the 90's except the part about peace and prosperity.
I agree with this. President-elect Obama has made it clear that he wants to work together, in a bi-partisan manner to fix the wrong in this country. If the GOP attacks him over every little misplaced word as they did (and still do) with the Clinton's - then they will only prove that they are the problem - not the solution.
If Obama gets into the White House and starts enacting similar bone-headed policies to W's - then hey - I'll be right there with them. But until that point in time - the GOP, Rush Limbaugh, Mike Drudge, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Glen Beck, Bill Kristol, and FOX news needs to shut the hell up. Report the news - explain their viewpoints - it's their right - but bashing a president who is trying to reunite this country, fix an economy, return us to our constitutional rights, bring back a progressive and prosperous America, and help us to heal the wounds of all bigotry will not illuminate them in a positive way and it will only hurt them in the end.
It always sucks to lose - I know - I've had 8 years of it. Even most of the people that voted for W now regret it. So I wish they'd just give the new guy a chance before they start bashing every thing he does.

A New Era

Today, I have reason to be happy. Not just because my choice for president won last night, but because the choice brings historical change to America. I am happy for the millions of African-Americans in this country who can finally realize that their children can grow up to be president. And it bodes well for the millions of minorities in this country whose children can also realize that dream.
But most importantly, the election of Barack Obama ushers-in the possibility of real change for this country - a country that has lost it's way over the last few decades and most specifically, over the last 8 years. Obama's election is not only a beacon of hope for black Americans, but it resonates hope for ALL Americans. My hope is that over the next decade, we won't even take race into consideration - that it won't be how whites voted, or how blacks voted, or Hispanic, or Asian - but simply how America voted.
Obama brings with him, eloquence, intelligence, dignity, perseverance, and strength. Our reputation around the world is tarnished. Obama has an opportunity to turn that around - and I for one think he will. His very election has garnered praise and support from our allies - allies alienated by the last eight years of W. What the Bush administration and Republicans at large, fail to see is that in order to secure our country, strong alliances around the world are a necessity!
There are a number of complicated issues that face the new president - security, the economy, the war in Iraq, health care, taxes, education, energy ... to name a few. It will not be easy to deal with these issues and it won't be easy to undo the damage done by the previous administration. However, I am confident that America has chosen the right individual to do it. Not only do I feel that Obama has the intelligence to make the crucial decisions, I am confident that he will surround himself with individuals who will best assist him.
Bottom line ... today, November 5, 2008 is day one of an era that can make a difference. There will be tests - it will not be easy, but at least we now have a chance.
Goodbye W - worst president in American history ... have a good time on the ranch. Eat your prunes - you'll stay regular.
Rot in hell Cheney.

My road to Angnosticism

I was born on Easter Sunday, April 6, 1969. My name, Christopher, is Hebrew in origin and literally means, "Christ Bearer."
I was born into a "mixed" family. My father is from a long line of protestants that settled the Shenandoah Valley region of Virginia. He was Episcopalian (a.k.a. - the Church of England in America.) My mother is from a long line of Roman Catholic Hungarians. (In the eyes of the Catholic Church, my parents were told that their marriage was a mixed marriage.)
I was baptised at about the ripe old age of six weeks. This was an unthinkable tragedy among my mother's family members. It was (and still is in many places), believed among Catholics that if a baby died prior to baptism, his or her "soul" would never achieve Heaven nor Hell, but instead float around forever in a state of "Limbo." So, finally to give my relatives an unfettered solace of mind, I was baptised by a priest in St. Stephen's of Hungary Catholic Church in Allentown, Pennsylvania sometime in the late Spring of 1969.
Growing up, I have only vague recollections of my time in Church. My parents would occasionally take me to the local Catholic Church in my home town of Manassas, Virginia and I think that at one point, we went semi-religiously. Other than that, I went to Church only when I visited my grandmother in Allentown or at Holidays (Christmas and Easter.) Church was always a big production for my grandmother. There was always a great deal of stress involved in preparation for the event. My father always pushed to attend Easter Sunrise service at the National Cathedral in nearby Washington, D.C. but my mother shunned the idea of driving into the city all but one time I believe.
At any rate, that's about all I remember from childhood on the subject. Yes, I learned the Lord's Prayer. Yes I learned the robotic drone of the Catholic Mass. Yes, I said my prayers at night and said Grace before dinner. I was a typical, semi-practicing Christian American, much like most everyone else.
The first event I remember that labeled religion as suspect in my mind was the Jonestown Massacre of 1978. Nine-hundred and nine Jonestown parishioners died of cyanide poisoning in what leader Jim Jones referred to as "revolutionary suicide." It was the largest mass suicide event in over 1900 years of history. Until the events of September 11, 2001, it was the single largest, non-natural loss of civilian life in American history. It forever ingrained a hatred of "cult" religion in my mind. This was the beginning for me.
Into my teen years, I experienced a mix of religious viewpoints. I still considered myself Catholic and a believer in God and the Bible. I had little experience with protestant churches at the time, though I had attended an Episcopal and Methodist service or two. I was in my mid to late teens when I first attended an Assembly of God service of one of my friend's. It did not have the desired effect on me that Assembly members generally hope to inflict. I saw people for the first time with their arms raised up, vocalizing at random, speaking in tongues, loud and boisterous music - not at all what I was used to. It struck me as a cult. (And I still believe it is.) Over the years, I have had the misfortune to attend a few more services at fundamental churches and I still don't have an opinion that differs any more than my original evaluation.
At any rate, when I was around 20 years old, I decided to investigate Catholicism seriously. I had floundered around with my own religion my whole life, so I wanted to give the Catholic Church an honest evaluation. My friend Dan (a devout Catholic to this day), and I began going to church together - usually on Saturday evening as we both liked to sleep in on Sunday morning. I spent at least a year attending mass regularly. However what I came to realize about the Catholic Church was that it stood for so many things that I did not. And the omnipresent drone-like chanting of the service began to seem like a cult to me as well. I didn't get much out of the sermons - it was more like preaching to an enemy than instilling me with confidence. I found a great deal of hypocrisy within the Catholic Church and I, myself began to feel hypocritical attending as I no longer believed in their ways. So I stopped attending and broke my bond with Catholicism forever.
Though my Catholic bond was broken, I still considered myself to be a religious being. After I got married in 1996, my ex-wife and I spoke of how we thought it was important for our children to have a rudimentary understanding of Christianity. So before they were even born, we began looking for a local church in Ashtabula, Ohio. (By this time we had moved from Virginia.) We decide to become members of the Second Congregational United Church of Christ in Ashtabula. this was a church that my ex had attended as a child (she was also Catholic by baptism but her mother's second husband was the son of this church's minister.)
So we began attending and at first, thought we had found a home. The services were tame and more traditional. The people were older, but friendly and desperately sought younger members. The minister was fairly inspiring with some of his sermons. He actually had opened a session of Congress while we were attending that church. (Something that even then, I was totally against because of the mix of church and state thing.)
However, as time went by, we began to notice things. The friendly parishioners were actually fairly petty, full of gossip, and in some cases they were a little back-stabbing. All in all - they weren't bad people, but it makes one realize that a little smoke and mirrors goes a long way. Our minister was the CEO of a local company during the weekdays. In his travels, it turns out he would engage in a practice called "churning." This refers to booking two non-refundable tickets, back-to-back and only using the outbound portion of each in order to receive a bigger discount. This practice was and still is "illegal" in the travel industry and airlines were handing out debit memos left and right to travel agencies when they found this practice in use. The reverend's wife was bragging one day about the fact that he was engaging in this practice. My ex and I both explained that it's a bogus practice and was actually one of the contributing financial factors that got me laid-off from my corporate travel agency job in 1999. She of course realized she had put her foot in her mouth and immediately tried to back-pedal, but she never really warmed up to us after that.
So once again, I found hypocrisy in organized religion. Now, you could argue it's human nature, but for an organization that claims to be aspiring to "God's greatness", it's really just hypocritical. I lost interest in that church soon after and my ex followed my lead after awhile.
In the years that followed, I began really researching religion. Religion of all kinds - seeking some kind of spiritual truth. But all I have found is that just about every religion has a dark side. And the big three (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam), have perhaps the darkest histories of all. People have been robbed, enslaved, prostituted, sacrificed, raped, murdered, tortured, imprisoned, ridiculed, and excommunicated all for simply questioning religion and in some cases, just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
War almost always has religion at its roots. Even if it's a social or ethnic war, there is generally always a religious dogma driving it.
I have found that religion is guilty of thousands of years of scientific retardation. The very progress forward of mankind has been inexcusably altered by these ancient superstitions. The Bible or the Koran hold about as much validity as Greek Mythology or Egyptian Sun God worship. Yes, some common sense life lessons may be present, but only at the expense of swallowing some gigantic lies - fables with no scientific evidence whatsoever.
Faith is fine when it has something substantial behind it - faith in friends or family. But blind faith in things that cannot be proven to exist is just, plain irresponsible.
The reason I am Agnostic is because I can't prove nor disprove the existence of anything beyond this, four dimensional universe. I don't believe in God per se - at least not the God or Gods of any human-born tale.
Mathematics has defined eleven dimensions of existence. Is it possible that we might one day find answers to the question of some kind of intelligent force, greater than us, that controls this universe and every other? Sure. It's possible. But not definite.
In order to achieve Agnosticism, I've had to grasp hold of and accept the fact that my death may truly be just that - death. I can accept that possibility. Like everyone else, I don't like that possibility, but I accept it nonetheless. Is it possible that there are other planes of existence I might transcend? I suppose so. But I can't define it anymore that you or anyone else on this planet. It's a possibility - not a fact. So when I hear this religion or that religion claiming to KNOW the mysteries of the universe, I can't take them seriously. Because a book says so without any relevant proof is not proof.
Einstein theorized that energy (which we are all made up of), cannot die - it simply transforms. That may be, but there's no evidence to suggest that intelligence goes with it. However, there's no evidence to say it doesn't. We will simply have to die to find out. Or perhaps one day, science will figure it out - if religion doesn't continue to hamper it.
What's truly important to humanity right now is not dwelling on the afterlife. That will come - we all die. We need to focus on the here and now so that there is a tomorrow.
Cheers.